Infinite

Sorry, but this post is only dedicated to me. No one forced you to read.

Even before today started, I knew its going to be a shitty day alrdy. I TOLD YOU I SCREWED ALL MY SUBJECTS, BUT WHY WONT YOU ALL BELIEVE ME AND SAID I WAS JUST KIDDING. You all kept giving me the false hopes that I'm going to get A for those subjects, but in the end I was fcuking disappointed with my fcuking results.

No, this wasn't what I wanted after mugging for months! IS THIS HUH?!

SCREWED, which is spelled my exams marks. I swear my heart ache. And my eyes were teary. AND IF ANYONE WAS TO TOUCH ME THAT VERY MOMENT ASKING ME MARKS, AND THEN SAY: 'I GOT ___ MARKS LEH! ONE MORE MARK TO A1 YOU KNOW! SAD LA.', shut that fcuking bullshit. I just teared.

I don't mind if my friends get really very high grades. I feel proud for them! :D But it makes me feel so INFERIOR, I was the lowest among all of them for ALL THE SUBJECTS.

One by one, I receive back different papers today. And each paper, was worser than the previous. I really dont get why I was born dumb but yet not clever like other people?

ACC - 25/50
History - 18/35
Science - 55/100
English Lit - 30/75

I FCUKING LOST TWENTY FIVE MARKS COS OF A FCUKING ESSAY QUESTION WHICH I DID TOTALLY WRONG. EVERYONE SAID THAT I WOULD AT LEAST GET A MARK FOR WRITING HALF A PAGE(EVEN THOUGH I WROTE OUT OF POINT), BUT NO. NOOOO, I DIDNT EVEN GET A MARK OKAY. NOT EVEN A PATHETIC MARK.

Its like a knife stabbed right into your heart.

And do you know the feeling when you look around, and everyone got around 50 plus, while you, looking at the top right hand side of the paper, you teared silently.

AND FORGET ABOUT THAT SHITTY SCIENCE. I put all my hope in there, and yes la, I should seriously just hang myself and die a miserable one. Day and night, weeks and months before the science exam, my mind was physics, physics, physics. I tired my best. My very best.

And I think, all this wasn't worth it. You wont know how fcuking shit I am. No one understands. Not at all.

I think I am purely a disgrace to Chung Cheng.

Probably I should consider changing school. Really. All those Bs and Cs(Yes, no A) in your report book only give you a eyesore.


And its always when I'm down, the empathians are always thereeee. Now you know why I love them! :D You know, when I was shitty emo-ing during the Science and Lit debrief, they secretly wrote a postcard. With a big smiley face sticker on it. :D

To Joanne
Cheer up k! Laugh leh! Don't sad sad... its ok de! The atmosphere is dull without you the laughing heyna/joker! Laugh! Laugh!
Hey! We are there for you yeah? Smile.
You've worked hard le lah. The exams are over. Don't think so much. Fill your mind with sickness. (Dammit, I know who wrote it! Hahaha.)
Work harder next time! 100% sure do well one! I will support you always ok!
Lovely lady, cheer up lah! We know you did your best, try harder next year! I know you can.

Just to let you know, my eyes were watery while reading. (: Those small lil' things, you guys always made my day a lovely one. Thanks.